Interesting and Awkward, But Definitely Fun
by Batmanluvr
Summary: When a group of newbie thugs take over the NCIS building, Gibbs and the team find themselves locked up and held for ransom. But it might be the crooks that will regret everything by the end of the day.


Title: Interesting and Awkward, But Definitely Fun

Summary: When a group of newbie thugs take over the NCIS building, Gibbs and the team find themselves locked up and held for ransom. But it might be the crooks that will regret everything by the end of the day.

Genre: humor humor humor

Pairings: There really are no pairings :) Oh well

I don't know if there is already a fic or Ncis episode like this. If there is, I'm truly sorry. I was also debating if whether Kate or Ziva should be in this fic, but Ziva won out in the end. I'll do a story with Kate in it some other time maybe.

I make one tiny reference to my other story _The Bet_. But it's pretty small, and doesn't really matter. You don't need any knowledge of that story to get this one.

This story is for my best bud, because I know she's going through a tough time. I hope this makes you feel happier! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own

**Update**: hahaha… I found quite a few typos and things that I left out when I posted this a while ago, so I fixed the ones that I found. Nothing in the story has really changed though :)

XXXXX

Gibbs slumped into his seat and stared at the tiled ceiling.

The past few weeks had been thoroughly disappointing. It was unlike him to be bored, but he couldn't help but admit: he was oh so so so bored.

It wasn't that the team wasn't solving their cases, but they were actually solving them one after the other without a single problem. Too quickly to Gibbs liking. I mean, couldn't a marine die more interestingly? Dead petty officer found stuffed in a dumpster. The next week, the thug is found attempting to murder someone else. Case closed. Another murdered marine is discovered in an old, creepy, abandoned building. The murderer is found hiding in New Mexico after three days. Case closed. Dead marine killed in his own back yard. His wife admits to be the culprit a few days later. Case closed. Case closed. Case closed. Case closed. Over and over and over again! Seriously!

Tony had evidently noticed his boss's sulking. "Ah, don't be so down, Boss!" the agent announced happily across the bullpen. "I mean, it's only been two months!"

Gibbs sent a glare flying at him, which earned an innocent shrug which seemed to say, "Hey, I tried." The other two agents of Team Gibbs were supposedly engrossed with their work as they continued to type without daring to make eye contact with their boss. It only made the former marine more agitated. He let out an exaggerated sigh and continued to count how many little gray speckles adorned each ceiling tile.

A few long hours flew by, and Gibbs had gotten bored with the ceiling long ago. He had done everything Ducky had suggested: from taking a walk around the building to grabbing a few more cups of coffee. Not even a visit to Abby's lab had helped. The events of the day had thoroughly convinced him that the past two months had been cursed, and Gibbs was doomed for the rest of eternity… or until he died, whichever one worked. The former marine once again plopped down at his desk with another steaming cup of his favorite beverage.

That was when the room turned completely dark. All the lights had flickered out, and the computers had ceased to blink, earning a couple of shocked yelps from other agents and a loud jumble of colorful words. The team turned to send surprised gapes to Tim, whose blush could be seen in the dark.

"Sorry," the probie stammered. "I guess I was sorta' caught up in my work?" He attempted an innocent smile.

With a shake of his head, Gibbs groaned and stared once again at the ceiling, then groaned yet another time when he found it was too dark to count the speckles. Was it too much to ask for?! He was already bored to begin with, and now this stupid blackout had to come along and screw things up even more!

He perked up when he turned his head to find a group of dark figures standing in the doorway. When Gibbs saw what seemed to be weapons in their hands, he couldn't help but fight of a little smirk. Maybe this blackout really wasn't all that it seemed. A few of the other agents began to gasp and mutter quietly, and the big man in the front of the small dark group yelled something out. It seemed like music to Gibbs ears.

"Shut up! Everyone put your hands were I can see 'em! And if anyone even tries to pull of something stupid, I'm putting a slug through your leg!"

XXXXX

The crooks were obviously new to this whole thing. Gibbs could tell with how one of the thugs was shaking as he wrapped his hands behind his back with duct tape. The former marine, however, did not do a single thing to stop them. He actually did everything they commanded him to do willingly. Once they had rid him of his gun and the multiple knives they had discovered he was hiding (they had given him a strange look as they had discarded them one by one), they pushed him through the dark hallways all the way to one of the interrogation rooms, where Gibbs saw that Tony, Ziva, and Tim were taped to metal chairs. The table had been thrown out of the room. After he was secured to his seat, a few of the thugs left, leaving the captives and two other crooks to watch after them, both clad in black and holding pistols.

The group stared in silence for a few awkward minutes.

Tony interrupted the moment. "What do you want, you idiots?" he exclaimed rather obnoxiously. The two thugs stared at each other through the dark, both raising a questioning eyebrow. Meanwhile, DiNozzo continued his outburst.

"You know what you guys are? Well I know what you are! You're a _disgrace_ to our country! You should be ashamed of yourselves! I suggest you go away before I do something!" Tony completely ignored the fact that they were holding the guns and not him. Gibbs could only smirk.

The shorter of the thugs leaned up to whisper in the other one's ear. "The guy's totally nuts."

"Nuts!? Nuts!? Who're you callin' nuts, buddy?" Tony proclaimed while trying to wiggle through his tape.

"Shut up!" The crook pointed the pistol at the agent.

Ziva sent a look at her teammate. "Tony!" she chided. "Don't make him more angry!" She then stole a look at the man holding the gun. "I mean he's already about to wet his trousers." The remark earned a snicker from Tim.

"What'd you say, lady!?" The other criminal lined up his gun with Ziva's forehead.

Completely ignoring the man, Tim explained, "It's not 'wet his trousers', Ziva. It's 'wet his pants'."

"Well, you get the point. Do you not?"

"Hey, are you listenin' ta' me?!" one of the thugs continued to holler, holding his gun with two hands now.

Gibbs decided to interrupt his team's conversation for their own sake. "Hey! Pay attention!" The trio turned to look at their boss, who turned to stare back at the crooks holding the weapons. "Look at his form. It's horrible!"

"I know, right?!" Tony agreed. "I mean look at the way he's all hunched over! And he's holding the gun all wrong!"

Tim and Ziva nodded in agreement. The two crooks just stared at them awkwardly. Through the dark, Gibbs could see that one of their eyes had begun to twitch slightly. It made his smirk grow bigger.

DiNozzo continued to ramble obnoxiously. "I bet he hasn't even taken the safety off! Hey, pal! Ya' want me to show ya' how to do it righ –"

"Shut up or I'll shoot!"

"Jeez, ever use manners?" Tony turned to his team and muttered quietly, "What crawled up his butt and died?"

Tim shrugged, and Ziva snorted. "I bet they haven't even shot a gun in their life," she snickered, staring at the two. They said nothing but continued to aim their weapons.

McGee piped up. "_I_ bet that –"

"Hey you! Shut up!" His voice sounded even more agitated as he aimed the gun at McGee's nose.

"Do you even know what kind of gun that is?" blurted Tony. "What is that old piece of junk from anyways? The 1960's?" He received a glare from Gibbs. "Not that that's old or anything…" DiNozzo corrected himself.

"I said shut up!"

"Is that all you guys can say? Shut up. Shut up Shut up. Shut up," Tony mocked childishly. "What are you idiots planning anyways? You holding us for ransom?"

The crooks didn't answer.

"Seriously?" DiNozzo acted shocked. "I mean, that's so stupid! You're not even wearing masks or anything!" The rest of the team nodded in agreement. "And I bet you don't even have the guts to shoot any of us! And you call yourselves criminals?! McGee's dog could come up with a better heist than you guys!"

One of the two men groaned exasperatedly. "Keep your trap shut! We know what we're doing!"

The special field agent shrugged. "I'm jus' sayin'," he muttered.

After a few moments of silence, the thugs finally put their guns down and resumed to watching over the four carefully by the door. Not even half an hour had past before DiNozzo began to explain in great length and detail the plots of all the James Bond movies. The crooks chose to ignore him.

"Oh Ho!" Tony had exclaimed. "The silent treatment? Seriously? Well, anyways…" he began to explain why Sean Connery was and always would be the best Bond.

After about an hour and three more movies later, a knock sounded behind the door. A low, rough voice called out, "Hey, open up!"

The thugs did exactly that. The large door squeaked open to reveal a rather large man clad in black like his fellow criminals…

…with his arms handcuffed behind his back, and Fornell, Jenny, Abby, and the others right behind him.

XXXXX

The power was back on, and Gibbs was glad to have the circulation back in his hands after ripping off the duct tape, and Tony and the boys seemed to have fun wrapping up the five or so crooks, who were now huddled on the interrogation room floor. The whole team gathered around to observe their victims.

They had gone out of the room earlier and had discussed what they were to do with the thugs, and their plan was that they didn't have one. No one, not even Fornell, wanted to have anything to do with them. So they had opted to call the police over, leaving them with about ten minutes of spare time.

Gibbs decided to speak his mind first.

"You idiots have been enough troubled today. I should just shoot you on the spot," he announced rather loudly, all the while glaring holes in their faces. He took a gulp of the coffee he had gotten earlier.

One of the men struggled in the duct tape while stammering, "Dude, we're sorry!"

"'Dude, we're sorry' isn't going to cut it." The former marine turned to Ducky and Jimmy. "I say we call off the police, lock them in the morgue, and let them die there."

"Nice choice, sir," answered Palmer as he nodded.

Ducky's eyes were wide with shock. "Jethro!" he exclaimed. "Why would you lock them in the morgue if you can just throw them each in the trash compactors?"

A few of the thugs stared at the good doctor with gapes.

"I like that. Stuff them in the trash compactors."

"Gibbs!" Everyone turned to face the forensic scientist who was staring at her silver-haired fox. "You can't do that!" Abby pointed a gloved finger at the group of criminals. "If you stuff them all in the trash compactor they'd just rot and decompose and all that other nasty stuff and that'd be soooo gross! And who's gonna clean that up? I mean, Madam Director," Jenny glared at the goth, who ignored her and continued to ramble, "just fired our last janitor! I'm definitely not gonna clean that up! That would be so nasty!"

"…She has a point," replied Tim after a pause.

"Then what're we gonna do with 'em?" questioned DiNozzo. Ziva nodded behind him.

Fornell whipped out a pistol from the pile of weapons they had taken from the crooks. "I say we just go with what Jethro was saying in the first place. Let's just shoot them. I'll do the honors." He lined up the shot with one of the thug's foreheads.

The crook immediately blurted out, "You can't shoot me!"

"What do you mean 'I can't shoot you'? I'm a FBI agent! I can do whatever I flippin' want!"

"You're not in charge! You're not the Director of NCIS! This is NCIS, isn't it?!" The thug stared at Jenny with pleading eyes.

"…He does have a point," muttered McGee.

The team turned to stare at the Director, who gave what seemed to be a look of mercy to the thug. "I am the Director," she began. "But I'm actually on lunch break right now, and I guess Tobias is next in line to be in charge." She completely ignored the fact that Gibbs was in the room. "Carry on."

One of the tied up men muttered quietly to himself about how they were all nuts. Tony straightened up at the word.

"Nuts!? Nuts!? Who're you callin' nuts, buddy?" he proclaimed loudly.

"Shut up!" hollered the man who had been in the room while the team had been tied up.

"I believe we have already had this conversation, Tony," replied Ziva.

"Conversation!? It wasn't a conversation at all! All he said was, 'Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!' That was not no conversation! Just shoot them, Fornell!"

"Aaaauuugh!" A courageous thug yelled out, jumped to his feet, and ran towards the door, but he carelessly bumped into Gibbs coffee in his attempt to escape (which would have been in vain anyways since his hands were tied up and there was no way to open the heavy door). The cup tumbled to the ground, and its contents splattered everywhere.

"I'm not cleaning that up!" announced Abby.

Ziva stared at the crook –who had fallen to the ground also –with a shocked expression painted all over her face. "Oh my, you spilled Gibbs' coffee."

DiNozzo laughed heartily. "Woooh! That was smooth, Evel Knievel!" His boss shot him a glare. Tony immediately turned back and exclaimed, "You dimwit! Who do you think you are spilling Gibbs' coffee like that?"

Gibbs had turned to Tobias. "Just shoot them already."

"I'm not cleaning that up either!" Abby sent a glare flying at Palmer. "Jimmy! You do it!"

"What makes you think that I'm gonna clean it up?" the assistant questioned, arms raised in defense.

"You clean up dead people everyday! And _they're_ naked!" A crook gulped, and Jimmy couldn't think of anything to blurt back.

Fornell groaned, and once again pointed the gun.

"No, wait!" Tony blurted out. "You can't just shoot them! That'd be too quick! They don't deserve a painless death!"

Timothy nodded. "I agree with Tony… for once."

The special field agent turned to a certain ex-Mossad. "I say we sick Ziva on them!"

The remark earned a small gape from the Israeli. "Do I look like the kind of person you can just 'sick' on people?"

"You're a ninja assassin. Of course we can sick you on people," he replied a matter-o'-factly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Fornell continued to point the pistol at one of the men's heads. He tapped his foot impatiently. "Can I shoot him now?"

"If you want to shoot him, just shoot him," said Gibbs. The way he said it made it sound like he dealt with these kinds of things every day.

Tony continued to argue. "Ziva! Go and kill them already! Shooting them would be too merciful."

"Not if you shot them in the leg first," Ziva interjected.

"Why don't we just shove them into the trash compactors like Ducky said before?" asked Tim.

"Because that'd be gross!" Abby once again explained.

Jenny nodded. "I agree with Abby on that one. The compactors might not be big enough anyways."

"But isn't that the point of compactors? It'd squish them smaller!"

Jimmy butted into the conversation. "I still think letting them starve in the drawers of the morgue is a good idea."

"But Mr. Palmer," replied Ducky, while adjusting his glasses. "If we just leave them in the drawers, we would never be able to concentrate on our work with all of their screaming."

"Oh yes, I didn't think about that. Thank you, Dr. Mallard."

"Are we going to shoot them or what?" asked a now anxious Fornell.

The victims on the floor just continued to gawk, wondering if their life would be spared or not.

Just then, Cynthia opened the door. She eyed the thugs wrapped up in duct tape, the coffee splattered on the floor and wall, and the arguing agents. None of it seemed to surprise the secretary at all. It was as if she was expecting to walk in on such a fiasco all along. Either that or she was just used to such chaos.

"The police are here," Cynthia announced with a blank expression and then exited without another word to say.

The group groaned as soon as the door slammed shut. Tony began to mutter something about stupid police screwing things up, and below, the thugs could be heard sighing with relief. It all made Gibbs smile for one of the first few times since the past two months. Too bad the police had to make everything come to an end so abruptly…

…and just when it was about to get fun.

XXXXX

"I do have to admit," said Ziva after swallowing a mouthful of lo mien. "That was quite fun. I had no idea that you guys could act so well."

It was late, and the team had settled at their desks with a container of steaming Chinese take-out and chopsticks in each of their hands. It was Gibbs' treat since he had forced them to explain everything to the cops (most of the story they left out for a good reason).

"Why, thank you, Ziva," Tim happily replied while fumbling with his chopsticks. "I think we freaked them out thoroughly."

Tony spoke through a mouthful of rice. "But I wasn't actin', Ziv'."

"And why doesn't that surprise me?" Gibbs chuckled as he resumed to counting the speckles on the ceiling. The day had certainly been… rather interesting, if you could call it that. A bit awkward, but definitely interesting. He suppressed a snicker. Scratch all that. The day had been quite fun, as Ziva had said. Interesting, and awkward, but definitely fun.


End file.
